Don’t Blame Me

By Bill Gough, Allstate Hall of Fame Member

Everybody does it. You may not know it, but you do it. I do it. I don’t like it, but it’s something I’ve always had trouble controlling. Geez, it’s wrecked so many relationships and business deals for me for years.

So… What exactly am I talking about? I’m talking about placing blame on others for my faults.

It’s time that you and I take responsibility for our actions, words, and thoughts.

Let’s face it: pointing fingers ruins relationships and businesses. So, something didn’t go your way or end up right? Were you to blame? Maybe, but blame isn’t important. Blame is irrelevant.

Focus on what we can control — making sure that what went wrong doesn’t happen again. Placing fault is a prime example of how focusing on blame or negativity can ruin everything.

Stop it NOW!

This is a pep talk, in case you hadn’t already noticed.

I want to make sure that you have the mental and emotional clarity needed to ward off the “blame monster” before you make irreparable damage to a valuable relationship. I constantly find myself in situations where the “he said-she said” of blame is really getting to me.

When I catch myself doing this, I try to step back and reassess the situation. Generally, I find that I’m missing the big picture because I’m so consumed by trying to prove that I’m not to blame for a mistake or unfavorable outcome.

We must take an active role in being accountable for our actions, first by willing to accept responsibility and then by taking steps to ensure that we don’t make the same mistake twice.

Don’t waste your time picking what went wrong apart and completely neglecting what went right. The most important part of any situation is what you learned. So, what did you learn?

Chances are a big part of what you were doing was great. But was it profitable, a wise decision and was it something that you were very enthusiastic about? It just so happens that in this case, there was a malfunction.

You must focus on what you can take away from the situation and implement in the future and in other areas of your life. One of my favorite things about mistakes is that they compel you through life, giving you the opportunity to improve.

Mistakes help you MOVE FORWARD by creating a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

Don’t pretend that you aren’t in this boat right next to me. Let’s agree to knock it off, focus on the future, and how to do it better the next time.

Every bad experience can be a learning experience if you choose it to be. Failure doesn’t exist unless you let it. You only fail when you give up and settle for complacency. Stick with me and MOVE FORWARD.